What Matters Most

This isn't a post about about "New year, New me" crap. Every year everyone has the same goal. You can read more about that on my sister in laws blog, because I don't feel like going into that.Click here for the wise words of Brittany. I want to get to the point of what I wanted to write about.

I hate setting New Years goals. Maybe I'm afraid of failure our maybe I just know I won't complete my goal. For the last five years at least I haven't made any goals. I won't make "goals" this year either. I just want to improve on things. Yes, that does sound like a goal... but I really hate the cliche New Years Goals... or even that phrase.

A New year is a clean slate. Just like how every Monday I tell my self I'm going to eat better this week, cook more, work out... blah blah blah. You get my point. Then by Wednesday I haven't done anything so I tell my self that I will start again Monday. You're laughing because we have all been there.

Anyways, back to the point of this post. Lexi is getting older, obviously. She's noticing more things and getting into a routine of things. Every since Maya has been born we have been slacking on parenting. We are just tired. We plop Lex in front of the tv too much for bed time. We are horrible at eating at the table. Lexi almost expects to eat with a show on! When I started realizing this, I wanted to smack myself.
Putting Lexi to bed is one of my favorite parts of my day. I can finally devote my full attention to her. I love spending 45 minutes on puzzles, books, singing, prayers, and building stairs out of blocks. So why was I giving that up? Honestly it was because Broc and I were being lazy. We wanted our time together to watch tv. What is going to benefit my girls more... watching Toy Story for the fifth time that day while they fall asleep or having their mother and father spend time with them, talk about their day, and just use that time for them.
I choose them.
I am not saying I'm a perfect parent, but I try really hard to be a good one. I want to do things that will benefit my family in the long run and not whats easy.

So number one thing I want to improve on this year is my parenting. After all that is why God sent me these two beautiful children. To teach them.

Second, I really want improve on my cooking. (About time, right Broc?)
I want to cook more. There is always excuses not to cook. Ive used them all!
But as my girls are getting older, I want them to know food. Im sick of making frozen nuggets while Broc and I eat real food. Kids are only picky eaters because of their parents. Trust me, I'm super picky. I don't even like pizza!

Third. Make my home and life more Christ centered. My family really needs to improve on daily scripture reading, family prayers, temple attendance, and making family home evening more than excuse for ice cream. My mom always planned something to teach us, even though we didn't listen. I still remember the lessons and her trying. After all, isn't this life about preparing us for the next one?

Of course I want to improve on the generic goals. I want to lose weight, budget better, and what ever else there is...but right now I really want to focus on what Christ sent me to this earth to do. Be a better mother/wife and come closer to him.

Relying on The Lord

As I reflect back on this year I can't help but feel grateful and happy. This year Broc and I relied on the Lord  a lot. It was a really great year. That will be another post though.
At the first of the year Broc and I talked about selling our town house and finding a bigger one with a yard. We were expecting our second child in June, so we both wanted to do it and do it fast. We listed our town home in March I believe and it sold in less than a month. We were out by April 10th. Did we have a home of our own to move into? Nope. Broc's parents were nice enough to shelter us for a month. We were in the works of signing paper work, but we couldn't move in until May.

Broc and I both agreed on what we wanted for a new home. We couldn't find it. We looked every day online and looked at a ton of houses with our realtor, but none of them felt right. Broc showed up a home online and I didn't think it was the cutest. It obviously needed some work, but I agreed to go look at it.
We pulled up and it still wasn't at the top of my list. As soon as we walked in, it felt like home. Besides the hideous purple wall, five different types of flooring in a 3 ft radius, the original carpets in the basement from the late 80's, and every other room needing new paint- it felt like home. As soon as we walked in I could imagine Lexi running around with her sister, having family over, and never keeping the house clean because it was so big.
All that is my life now. I love it.
Well, Broc told me not to get my hopes up about it because it was out of or price range. I still spent every waking minute on Pinterest looking at DIY projects because I felt that this house was for us.
Over the next week we looked at about 5 more houses. I disliked almost every single one. We agreed to go look back at the house I loved. We took Broc's mom so she would look around and help us decided. (Thanks Kiera)

We prayed about it over the next few days and both felt that it was a good move. We went back and forth with the owner trying to get a good deal. We ended up paying a bit more than we wanted, but we knew it was where we needed to be. As I personally prayed about it I couldn't help but feel that we needed this house to strengthen our relationship with the Lord. Now, you may be thinking " How on earth can a house strengthen a relationship?"
Well, you and me both pal.
That is just what I was feeling. I am so glad we made the move. I have seen so many blessings. We have definitely strengthened our relationship with the Lord.
Shortly after we moved in we had nothing but problems. I was so worried that we made a horrible choice, but I kept reminding my self that this is where we needed to be.
 Even if the A/C went out in June while I was 9 months pregnant and the home warranty wouldn't cover it.  We couldn't afford a new one. We would have to pay out of pocket. It was something we truly needed though, especially with a newborn. As soon as our home warranty company said that they would not cover a new A/C, I was a mess. I always had a prayer in my heart that we would find a way to afford a new one. After calling around no one would help us. No one did payment plans. I called one specific company the receptionist said that they couldn't help us with a payment plan. Lucky for us, the lord was looking out for our family. The boss happened to be standing by the desk and he called us back right away saying that he could probably help us out.
The money that we are now spending monthly on our AC payments would be what we would use to fix up our house. Let me tell you, that is a huge frustration. We planned on fixing it up right away; but our money was taken else where. In time, we will get it done.

Next, our A/C in the basement wasn't working. Guess who wouldn't cover that either.
Then we had a leak in our ceiling.
Now, our kitchen sink has a leak and we need a new disposal.
It seems to never end and I am worried about what will happen next.
I joked with the A/C guys that if its going to go wrong, it will happen to us. I told them that it would be my luck that while they are installing the A/C it would probably fall through the ceiling and the home warranty company wouldn't fix that either. At least that didn't happen...yet.

Moving into this house we knew money would be tighter than what we were used to. We knew it would be a good thing because we really needed to learn how to budget better. We are still working on it, but I have seen an improvement.
Broc was called to be in the Elder Quorum Presidency shortly after we moved here and I feel that our home needed that leadership and everything that he has gained from that calling.
Our Ward has been nothing but welcoming and we really enjoy going to church.

Writing all this, I can't help but think about the blessings of tithing. Broc and I are usually pretty good at paying tithing. I credit that to my mom. She is amazing in that and growing up I saw the blessings for her. Anyway...
When we closed on our town home we got back A LOT less than we expected. We were pretty much broke! The next week, we got a check in the mail for $500! I was about to throw the envelope

Miss Maya: An eye opener

Maya has given Broc and I the hardest six months of our life. I can't speak for Broc but I'm pretty sure he would agree. We love Miss Maya with all our hearts. But sometimes she makes us want to pull out our hair. This morning Broc did mention that his hair was falling out...

Anyway. Last night was horrible. This kiddo would not stay asleep. Maya is the type of baby that can't go to sleep unless she swaddled and in a dark room. So we always put her to sleep in her room. She kept waking up every 15-30 minutes. Finally we got her down and finished what we were watching in television. 

We go upstairs to lay down and as soon as I close my eyes....

She screams.

I go in there. She keeps screaming and screaming and screaming! Finally after a bit I get her to sleep. As soon as I open the door she screams. (How do babies know?)

I was very frustrated at this point. I had gotten up several times, re swaddled, placed the binky in, rocked, and ran up and down the stairs a thousand times. 

I swoop Maya up and step outside her room to go make a bottle and  I just break down. I was crying because I was tired and mad. I just didn't understand why Heavenly Father was not answering my prayers for 6 months. I had been praying for sleep and patience. 

It was such a long night. Maya never slept soundly. I cradled her a lot that night.  

I remember saying my prayers last night and just asking my Heavenly Father for more patience. Asking him to help me be a better mom and find what works for Maya. 

Even though I didn't sleep well, I had the most comforting dream. 

I won't go into detail about it, but it was what I needed. (It might sound weird to people.)
Heavenly Father knows what we need. Christ is our friend. He understands. He has felt what I was feeling last night. He knows. 

I know that my Heavenly Father sent Maya here to teach me something. To teach Broc and I something. I'm betting on patience. Being awake before seven this morning, I wasn't happy. I had Broc put Maya in her walker while he showered so I could catch a few more minutes of sleep. I knew it wouldn't work, but it was worth a shot. I finally decide that I will get up. So I did. I changed diapers, had Maya finish of her bottle and she was ready to go back to sleep. I used that time to snuggle with Lexi while she watched some toons and I got about 30 more minutes. 

Maya woke up, I was slightly frustrated but decided to make the best of it. As I've been awake this morning I've been reflecting on my dream a lot. It really was so comforting and in a way an answer to some prayers.
(I just want to make it clear that Im not saying that in anyway did I have a vision or epiphany... It was just a weird dream that made things more clear to me.)
I still have a long way to go, but it's just a nice reminder that I'm not alone and Christ knows my pain. My pain may not be as bad as others, but it's still my pain and he cares. 

I'm so thankful for Broc. He steps in when I just can't take it anymore and he understands my frustration. We both agree life was way easier before kids, but definitely not as rewarding.

 We love this girl. I would never want anyone to think different. Maya is just a little more difficult than what we are used to. This girl has the sweetest smile and such an adorable laugh. I am thankful that she is ours.  Oh, and when shebis a teenager wanting to sleep in...thats not gonna happen.

Dear Maya (6 months)

Dear Maya,

Has it really been half a year already! Time is flying by. I was so excited for you to grow up and start doing things, but now I want you to slow down a little bit. This morning I sat you down in your crib while I picked out your outfit and when I turned around you were almost pulling your self up! 

I can't believe you are almost crawling! I think you will take off any day.

Maya, you are nothing like your sister! Your sister was a much easier baby. You still like to be swaddled. You are not sleeping through the night, you are not a huge cuddler, and you are tiny. 

You wake up as soon as we get home and scream until you are out of your car seat.

I can track your dirty diapers down to the minute...

Rice does not make you sleep through the night like it did your sister.

You might not be like your sister or as easy, but you are so adorable and we love you. 

You make me want to pull out my hair sendays, but your laugh and smile is to die for. 

I'm wl glad that you are ours. Even if you make your dad not want to have any more children. One day we won't have to swaddle you. (Hopefully) My little Maya burrito, how we love you! 

Thanks for finally starting to become a normal baby and not screaming all day. 

Part of that was our fault though...

I feel like we are finally get your routine down though, and it makes the days easiesr. I can't wait to see what the next six months hold.

Love,

Mommy

The only thing Lexi and Maya have in common is their stats are the same for this age. 

Six Month Stats:

Height-26.5inches (70%)

Weight:17 lbs (67%)