Christmas Time!

Well, I can't believe Christmas has come and gone! Which is crazy because it didn't feel much like Christmas! Maybe because we were able to wear shorts and tee shirts! But who's complaining? Anyways. Here are a few recaps from these past few days! Enjoy!

We went over to Broc's aunts house on Christmas Eve to enjoy a fun Christmas Dinner and celebrate a few birthdays!

After dinner, we went and looked at Christmas lights around town!

Some people go all out! Then, we all went back to Broc's parents house and had a sleep over in Joclynn's room! It was fun!...and freezing!

Tito was able to come over and spend the night as well!

On Saturday, we (the kids) were all deciding on what time to get up and we were set on 6am, but no one set an alarm. 6am came and Broc is the first one to say..

Wake up! Its Christmas!

(Above)

All the kids gave Ross and Kiera a 4 in memory foam mattress topper which they loved.

Tito loved his toys as well!

Broc got me the best gift! A deep fryer! I keep telling him that I need one because I love the make home made french fries...(the fatting way) in GREASE! ha

Joclynn of course got a bop it extreme! She is super good at it!

All the boys receive guns for Christmas so we had to go shooting!

It was really fun!

I have to add in some cute pictures of Tito over the last few days!

One of my Christmas presents was an Iphone4s.

I love it. I am an Apple freak anyway.

It was hard giving up my android, but I am getting used to it!

One of the great things about this Iphone is Siri.

She is amazing. (sometimes)

We like to ask her questions, and she will give you a response. Sometimes its helpful and sometimes its funny! Here are a few that she has given me!

And last.

Auto correct.

THE FUNNIEST THING ABOUT AN IPHONE!

The one on the left is between Broc and I. It isn't an auto correct but I thought it was funny.

The other one is between Broc and I again.

Anyways! Merry Christmas!

Bummer, work is tomorrow.

Washington State

WARNING:There are going to be more pictures than you can handle. Enjoy!

This past week I went up to Seattle with Broc's mother and sister Joclynn to be there when his other sister had her baby! So, introducing Madden Hesch!

I only had 2 pictures on my computer, the rest are on my phone and I was feeling lazy. You can always look on my facebook to view them. Anyways, here are some pictures from our trip!
Washington is beautiful. We road the ferry to Seattle one day and it was amazing.
We found this weird slug on the beach...




To cute!

Seattle has a gum wall. Since like 1993, people have been putting their gum on it. Gross!

Some days.

Some days

I'm okay.

Some days

I'm not.

I learn to deal with it, but it's hard.

I feel like I can't post things because people might be offended or up set by what I write, but it helps me vent.

Dealing with a miscarriage is hard. Even though I wasn't super far along, I was still attached to this growing child in my body.

I remember just feeling empty a few days after it happened. I know one day, it wont bother me so bad, but that day..isn't today and I doubt it will be tomorrow.

I think the day will be when I see two pink lines on a pregnancy test.

I know it will happen when the lord thinks we are ready, I just pray that everything will go okay. I don't know if I could do this again.

I am thankful for the strength the lord has given me. I am thankful for Broc and everything he has done for me. I love my life, just dealing with a little rough patch.

Time of the Year!

This is my favorite time of the year. For many reasons of course...but view the pictures below to see why.

Broc and I started dating this time two years ago. This has been the best two years of my life. The happiest two years of my life. The beginning of our relationship was fast. Heck. Our whole relationship was fast, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you Broc Jenkins!

Not enough time.

Can I please just take a moment to vent.
9-5 jobs...are the worse.
It is too hard to find time to go to school! If I could, I would find a new job..but I don't want to take that risk.
Why can't Dixie State have more online classes.
Being a young adult working,married,student..isn't all it is cracked up to be.
If it is cracked up to be anything...

Weekend Fun.

Well, I can't believe the weekend is over. The week seems to go by so slow and the weekend is too fast. This weekend was pretty good. Broc took off on Friday to go on a campout with the Scouts. I took that 24 hours to CLEAN! It seems that when Broc is home I can never clean. On Saturday I had a meeting at work and came home to relax. A few hours later Broc came home! After getting cleaned up we just went to run some errands. April, a good friend from college...(best roommate ever) was in town and came by.

After wards we went out with some of my old work friends and their hubbys. It was really fun to go on a group date. We went to Red Robin at 7:30 and ended up staying until 10:30 or so just chatting. Saturday was also Broc's Dads birthday.

Over all, it was a good weekend. I am ready for the new year to come...mainly Summer...

Funny story.

Broc's grandparents sent out a funny email to me today. Here it is.

Mammogram - this is priceless!

A Day Without A Smile Is A Waste

While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard alady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician,say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like tohear those extenuating circumstances." I did too, so I listened as thelady told her story. "Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling fromear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'mBelinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, stripto the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear ? " I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) tothe left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and leanin a tad so we can get everything ? " " Fine ", I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use theremaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My bodywas in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedgedbetween those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felta zap! Complete darkness, the power was off!
Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit asnag." Then she headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door'swide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be rightback." Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactlyhow Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" foundme...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and theother part smashed between glass! After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting,Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew thepower was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as muchcalmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway." "OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye asthough I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooosorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! Andsilly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset ? " And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up betweenthe clamps...." The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said " Case Dismissed ! "

A Day Without A Smile Is A Waste

No title. Just rambling.

I love fall. Maybe more now than when I was back home. When I see the leaves change colors, I think back to fall in Kentucky. Perfect weather.

Things have been going pretty good. I have been working a little more it seems and Broc seems to be traveling a little bit more. I am getting very excited for school next semester because I just want to finish! I have taken an interest in physical therapy. Nursing...seems great, but it's not just for me.

I've been dealing with the miscarriage pretty well. I had my post op appointment and everything is back to normal.

It gets a little hard when people bring new babies in to work and I have to deal with them.

It gets a little hard when I see ultrasounds of babies. I know it will happen again. I can't wait for that day. :)

I am always so grateful during this month.

I am grateful to be a member of the true church.

I am grateful that I am healthy

I am grateful for my eternal family

I am grateful to have a nice home

I am grateful to have a good job

I am grateful for every little thing in my life.

I love my life and wouldn't want it any other way.

Ps.

I am so proud of Broc! He was called to the Young Men's a boy scout leader!

He is looking forward to serving in the Young Mens, and I know that he will be a great leader to these boys!

Hair,Home, and Cowboys!

It has been a pretty good week so far. We are half way finished and I can't wait until Friday! I love the weekend. Who doesn't? Well, on Monday I was finished with my hair! So I walked into Great Clips and told them to cut it off.

Before

During

After

It might not look like much, but it was around 4-5 inches! It feels great. Although I do miss braiding it when I'm bored, or throwing it up in a long pony tail. But, change is good!

Next.

This is my favorite part of the day. I usually get home before Broc, if it is nice weather out side Tito and I will sit out side and wait for him to come home! Then we will walk down to the mail box to get all of Tito's energy out.
Today, it wasn't so warm. It was COLD and WINDY! Poor Tito was shivering!

Finally. Pictures of our home!

I didn't take pictures of everything and we have no pictures up on the wall.

Here is when you walk in the door.

Up the stairs.

Hall way. This is taken from our door way.

Our lovely plain bed.

Master bath.

Closet is attached

Our closet.

Yay for cheap Walmart book shelf! :)

Our couch.

Sitting room.

Excuse the puppy pads.

PLEASE.

Don't judge me on this next part....

Tito just needed a costume for the Trunk or Treat...

And he makes a pretty cute cowboy.

That is pretty much what we have been up to. What about you guys?

Our sweet little baby. Saying goodbye.

As many of you know, Broc and I lost our baby yesterday. I was 10 weeks and 5 days. I just want to warn you that this post will be very detailed. I guess telling the story is just my way of coping with it.

9:00 10-19-2011
I started spotting a little and called Broc's mom right away. Usually spotting is normal in pregnancy. This didn't feel normal.


I just waited it out because I knew I had a doctors appointment the next day.
Through out the night the bleeding got a little heavier.


8:00am 10-20-2011
We were so excited to head off the the doctor to hear our little babies heart beat! We get to the doctor and I am still bleeding and start getting more and more intense cramps.
He does an exam and says that everything look good. He said lets have you come back at 11:30 for an ultrasound, but first lets see if we can hear a heart beat with the Doppler.


Nothing.
Dr.K "Oh you must have a tipped uterus, its hard to hear at this time anyways with a tipped uterus. "


9:00-11:30
Horrible cramps. Mainly when I stood up. I knew something wasn't right. I was bleeding more and more now. I started sweating too.
I couldn't wait for our appointment time to come. I was just ready to find something out.
At the same time...I knew something was wrong.


12:00pm
We finally get back to the ultrasound. After filling up my bladder, the ultrasound tech performers a pelvic ultrasound. All we see is a little black ball.
"Well that's to small to be the baby" I joke.
The ultrasound tech then wanted to do a trans vaginal ultrasound. If you don't know what that is..I'm sure you can figure it our by the name...or google.
So I changed, and here we go.
There my baby was! He (we like to say he because we had a feeling it was a boy)
He was so much bigger than last time! This was taken when I was 6 weeks and 1 day.
But I knew as soon as I saw him, something wasn't right. She kept asking me if I was sure on the dates. I said yes, why is he measuring small? She nodded. Then she said the 6 words I didn't want to hear.
"I'm. not. seeing. a heart. beat."
Broc grabs my hand. We both hold back tears. As soon as she leaves the room to go get the doctor. We let it out.
We had lost our sweet baby. This innocent child of god.
One of the first things I said to Broc was...
"Its okay, its just part of Gods plan."
Of course, being the great man Broc is, he already knew that.
The Ultrasound Tech told me the way my uterus was shaped she could tell it was contracting and that was the horrible cramps I was feeling.
The doctor came in to talk to us about options. We we wanted to do.
1. Wait it out and pass the baby on your own.
2. Give me a pill, that will break up the tissue when I go to the bathroom.
3. Have a DNC. To read more about it...http://http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/dandc.html
We knew right away that was the choice we wanted to make. So...we filled out the paper work and set it up from that night.
Broc went back to work to finish up a few things. I went home to rest.
REST? yeah right. I couldn't stop cramping. Every time I stood up I killed my self.
To make matters worse, I couldn't eat or drink anything until after the surgery.
I started to bleed more and more with each contraction.
Suddenly about 3:30 it was the worst one yet. I was in so much pain. I was so scared because I was all alone.
All of a sudden....
blood.
Was all I saw. My phone was in the other room.
What was I going to do? I ran into go get it. I call Broc and tell him to come home now...
I go to call my doctor and as I am, the hospital calls me to set up a time for the DNC.
(talk about good timing)
I tell them whats going on and they tell me to come right over.
After throwing up and waiting for Broc to come home I start bleeding more.
Every time I would throw up more would come out.
We get to the ER and I walk in and say I'm having a miss carriage.
This CRAZY lady bring be back to do paper work and I say
NO I CAN'T STOP BLEEDING.
They rush me to a room and had me change.
I was still having contractions. My blood pressure was rising.
I begged to get the doctor in here so I could have some pain meds.
I remember saying to the nurse...
"You know, in television shows doctors get here a lot faster."
After this, I don't remember to much. The doctor came in, did some things and I was taken up to same day surgery. After the pain meds kicked in I was feeling much better.
My doctor shows up and we head off to surgery. The last time I remember is saying I love you to Broc and I think I changed beds. After that I was out. I remember waking up with cords and warm blankets, and coughing from the breathing tube down my throat.


It was the worst thing I've ever experienced. It was hard to wake up and realize I'm not pregnant anymore, and I have no baby here.
It didn't really sink in yesterday. I thought I would be okay.
Today it hit me.
I can have caffeine.
I can go sit in our hot tub.
I can go to school next semester now.
And as much as I want to do those things, I'd rather spend sleepless nights changing diapers and feeding my child.
But I know God has a plan. I know Broc and I will see our child again some day. I know we will be okay.


There was something about being pregnant that didn't feel right.
I some how knew the baby wouldn't make it.
It's going to be a hard next weeks, but no matter what I know the Lord is on my side.
As my favorite scripture says:

Isaiah 41:10

Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Here is our sweet little baby.

Even though mommy and daddy were not expecting/planning on you...you were the best surprise ever.

We love you so much!

I am so thankful for eternal familes.

Anyone notice this?

Does anyone ever go to their blog and check to see who has updated and it says a post from weeks ago? Then you go click on their blog and its been updated a few time since then?

Anyone know why that is? Do you think it has something to do with private blogs?

Let me know if you guys know anything.

What did I do!

All I could think about lately is getting a puppy. I didn't want one to big and I didn't want one too small. I found a couple dogs online that I wanted to go look at but they were to expensive. So, Saturday when Broc was out of town.... (my plan) I went to the animal shelter to look for some pups. None there really stuck out to me. Then, I went to PETCO where on Saturdays, they have animal shelters bring animals in. And there he was.

Broc hasn't met him yet, but YES! He knows that I got him. I told Broc he could name him. So far its between

1.Timon (like off Lion King) Because when he stands up on two legs he looks like him

2. A bunch of mexican names.

I love him. Everyone loves him. He is just so dang cute.

He is a long hair chihuahua :)