Broc's grandparents sent out a funny email to me today. Here it is.
Mammogram - this is priceless!
A Day Without A Smile Is A Waste
While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard alady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician,say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like tohear those extenuating circumstances." I did too, so I listened as thelady told her story. "Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling fromear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'mBelinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, stripto the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear ? " I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) tothe left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and leanin a tad so we can get everything ? " " Fine ", I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use theremaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My bodywas in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedgedbetween those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felta zap! Complete darkness, the power was off!
Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit asnag." Then she headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door'swide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be rightback." Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactlyhow Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" foundme...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and theother part smashed between glass! After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting,Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew thepower was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as muchcalmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway." "OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye asthough I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooosorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! Andsilly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset ? " And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up betweenthe clamps...." The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said " Case Dismissed ! "
A Day Without A Smile Is A Waste
